It’s just past Valentine’s Day and though writing this may feel like we missed the mark with our content calendar, this is something we’ve been stewing on for the last few months.
Changing your life, taking intentional steps towards the life you want, becoming ‘woke’ to what’s going on around us in this world, dealing with what your friends and family think of these new decisions you’re making and SO much more brings up SO many emotions.
It can be overwhelming, and if you’re not careful, these emotions and feelings can get the best of you, causing you to retreat back into your normal routine and rut - back into the life you know you don’t want but that you just feel too tired and weak to change.
This is SO 100% normal and OK.
It’s OK to feel overwhelmed. It's part of the process and it's only temporary.
When you’re confronting your habits, your actions, your thoughts and your beliefs and doing the work to CHANGE them in order to create a NEW life - your BEST life - things are going to come up - you’re going to experience Cognitive Dissonance.
That’s a fancy term Psychologists use to describe the feeling we experience when our beliefs [or thoughts] do not align with our actions. We can do one of two things when this happens.
We can change our beliefs to align with our actions or we can change our actions to align with our beliefs - when we do that - the painful experience of Cognitive Dissonance goes away.
Unfortunately, this pain often causes people to not make changes, to sweep things under the rug, to go on in ignorance and go on trying to pretend that everything is ok and turning a blind eye to anything that could bring up this feeling again.
And we get it. We’ve been there. Cognitive Dissonance SUCKS.
BUT - moving through that process - moving towards a place where our actions align with our new beliefs is SO worth it in the end and SO necessary if we’re going to actually live the lives that we want.
Before you start changing your life, you hold one set of beliefs and these beliefs cause you to produce certain actions.
For example, you may believe that the job you’re in is the only job in the world that you can get and you need to provide for yourself and your family - so your action produced from that belief is staying in that job regardless of if you are actually happy and thriving.
Then - something happens. It can be any number of things, but something happens and you realize you don’t want to go on being unhappy. You want to spend your days working towards something that matters to you, but hold on - you have the belief that the job you’re in NOW is the only one you can get in order to survive.
So - then you start experiencing… Cognitive Dissonance.
Your beliefs and actions are out of alignment.
You WANT to believe that you CAN spend your days working towards something that matters to you AND have money to provide for yourself and your family but that means you’d have to change your action - you’d have to look for a new job, create a job for yourself by starting a business and/ or QUIT your current job.
You have a choice to make here - you can choose your new belief and produce a new action or you can go back to your original belief and stay in your current action. Until you make that choice, you will continue to experience Cognitive Dissonance.
Unfortunately, many of us do our best to ignore those new beliefs, we’d rather be living, out of fear that we won’t be able to produce a new action - but that’s where we get it wrong.
Our beliefs are what produces the action.
If we TRULY embrace the new belief - a new action is on it’s way with actual little help from us because it just can’t help it. Beliefs and Actions LOVE to be in alignment, and as humans, we’re the ones who get in the way of them NOT being in alignment.
We could go on…because there’s a lot to say about this… but the point is - we want you to choose your new belief!
That old belief is not serving you - that’s why the new one showed up in the first place - choose it! And yes, when you do - a new action will be produced - a new action that requires you to do the internal work of fully embracing that new belief in order to bring it about.
And THAT’S what we want to talk about in this upcoming series on #AllTheFeels - the emotions that spring up when we choose our new belief and when we choose to do the work to fully embrace it.
We’re going to tackle things like fear, shame, embarrassment, resentment, offense, defensiveness, anger, sadness - and more importantly - freedom, joy, peace and love!
If you want a new life, you have to do new things that you’re currently not doing. You have to adopt new beliefs, new habits, new actions in order to bring it about and fortunately, you often have to go through a lot of painful emotions and experiences to bring it about.
Fortunately?! Did we just say FORTUNATELY you have to go through pain?!
Going through that teaches you who you are, what matters most to you, how you’re wired, how you want to spend your days and what kind of life you want to build - and think about it - MOST people avoid that process and as a result MOST people aren’t happy with their lives.
If we all decided to accept the painful emotions that can come with change in order to bring about a better life for ourselves then MOST of us would love our lives!
Can you imagine what the world would look like if MOST of us enjoyed our lives? If a new generation grew up in a world having the emotional skillset to create the life they want and create the good in this world that they were meant to create?!
Can. You. Even.
We can! And it’s beyond EXCITING to think about and it’s why we advocate for Intentional Living - so we can change this world for the good. Together.
Buckle up, it’s going to be a bumpy ride but it’s going to be the most worthwhile and meaningful ride of your life!